'Be Strong and Courageous'

Wrapping up the back story: Needless to say, the internship details continued to come together and I was accepted to join the Lighthouse staff in Belo Horizonte, Brazil for three months.

I am currently in Denver en route to Brazil and am getting renewed with a sense of excitement for this trip. Last night I was feeling pretty jittery and anxious, and then today I just felt like I was in a trance and it didn't really sink in that I was going to be on my way to Brazil.

Before I left my house today, I found a pendant from a Hungarian friend that had this verse:

'Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.'
Joshua 1:9

I wanted that to stick with me, so I tied it onto my backpack before heading out. While sitting in the Omaha airport, I was still having this trance-like feeling and I took out a note that Anna had written me for that day which included the same verse that was on the pendant.

I really felt God hitting me with that reminder, challenge, and promise and I began to lose that feeling of cloudiness and begin to gain excitement and a sense of courage for what lies ahead.

I was reminded that God has called me to Brazil, therefore I have no need to fear because I am in His will and the Creator of the universe is with me and preparing the way for me.

Thanks everyone for your prayers today, I have really felt their power!

Brazil Leadings (Parte Cinco)

The encouragement of others in seeking backup plans for internship continued and seemed to cloud my thinking a little. Then in the same week I met with ministry workers involved in each of the two spots that logically made sense for me to pursue and I passed through the week without discussing backup plans with either ministries, which I believe was a test that God desired me to pass with faith.

On November 18, 2010 I wrote:

The week of internship temptations seems to have passed by without me caving in. God really gave me strength, trust, and inner peace with Brazil. Today, while discussing my potential internship in Brazil, I was advised that I can pursue backup plans while still being open and pursuing the main internship that I feel God leading me into. After leaving that meeting, I was uncertain about how to move forward. I went to work right after that (afterschool program) and during reading time one of the kids put an alphabet book in front of me to read, and the very first thing my eyes saw was 'B is for Brazil.'

I believe that God is clearly leading me to Brazil and for me to pursue other options, even as backups, would be adultery of trust and faith. The only peace I have had is with singularly pursuing interning in Brazil, even though I have fears and hesitations with seeing myself there.

God is continuing to teach me to trust in Him and His glorious plans. If I can prove faithful with this, it could allow for God to lead me into even greater things for His kingdom and His glory.

Brazil Leadings (Parte Quatro)

As the internship deadline drew close, I was still waiting for a decision from YWAM and being somewhat barraged about pursuing backup plans.

On November 15, 2010, I wrote:

"Last weekend, Elias and I went to Chicago to visit some friends and see a 116 Clique concert. The pastor of the church we went to was teaching on Mark 6:45-52 where Jesus walks on water. He addressed something that had never jumped out before. It says that 'he (Jesus) made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side' while he went off to pray. A storm arose and it says that 'he saw that they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them.'

Jesus sent them into a storm that they couldn't get out of. They still persevered and painfully made headway. Sometimes we have to painfully make headway with what we feel God leading us into and wait for Him to act.

That sermon was very encouraging and it seemed confirming that I need to continue on making headway with Brazil as I feel that is what God has directed me to.

Brazil Leadings (Parte Três)

Continued from previous journal entry:

"In the meantime, I still didn't have any word from the organization I was hoping to intern with. Then that Saturday night, I came across a prayer letter I had written about the previous summer's Brazil trip. I read through it and and received a surge of excitement as I saw that I mentioned the possibility of doing some street work with YWAM while I was in Brazil. I looked up YWAM and saw they had a sizeable ministry in Belo Horizonte (the same city I would be in with the other organization) and I noticed that they accept volunteers for one to three month terms. I emailed them and heard back very quickly, and things began to progress with the application progress.

I sincerely believe God is leading me there. It is quickly approaching the internship finalization deadline and I am trusting God will deliver in a big way. It's in God's hands now, and there's no better place."

Brazil Leadings (Parte Duas)

"Thursday night October 14th. God spoke to me at BASIC (a large group worship gathering at UNI). The songs were about trusting and not fearing, two big things with me right now. I went in trying to keep my heart and mind open for anything God might want to communicate to me. The speaker shared a story about running the Chicago Marathon and how he hadn't adequately trained for it and had to walk the last ten miles. I felt God was telling me to get back to work on studying Portuguese for I would be in Brazil and God doesn't want me to have to walk it, but rather 'run with endurance the race set before me.' The night ended with the song 'Solution' by Hillsong United, which had been kind of the anthem for me going to Brazil in the summer, a song God really used last year to move my heart in that direction."

Only You can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinners past
And set the captives free
Only You can take the widows cry
And cause her heart to sing
Be a Father to the fatherless
Our Savior and our King
We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet
We will run this race
In the darkest place, we will be Your light
We will be Your light

-Solution, Hillsong United

Brazil Leadings (Parte Uma)

As I prepare to leave for Brazil in less than a week, I am revisiting some journal entries that I had written in the past months in regards to God leading me to Brazil. I will post some of these entries in the next few days leading up to the trip to help give a glimpse of what God has been doing in my heart leading up to this ministry.

This time in Brazil will also be the culmination of my time at the University of Northern Iowa and it is classified as an internship where I will receive the final credits for graduation. Because of this, I had deadlines and requirements for my internship site and that proved to be a very faith building exercise for me.

The Backstory: In summer of 2010 I arrived in Brazil to serve with a ministry, but I wasn't allowed to enter the country after arriving in São Paulo because of a lack of proper documentation. I felt that I would be returning and the one picture I had of Brazil that stuck with me was that of looking out the airplane window and seeing a favela (slum).

While pursuing setting up an internship this past fall, I made much effort in being connected to the organization I was going to be with that summer. No doors were opening with that and I was beginning to get anxious as months had passed with no positive communication from their end.

On October 4^th, 2010 I wrote,

“I am beginning to start double guessing on plans for spring internship. It has been trying and frustrating that I haven't been emailed and it has been over a month now. I also have seemed to have lost drive in studying Portuguese. I just want to know that I am step with God's leading and I keep 'yo-yo'ing.'

God, if You want me with that organization this spring, give me confirmation. If not, close that door and show me the open door You want me to enter. I want to rely on You fully for the selection, I put my trust in You.”

The frustrations continued the next day when I was unable to reach the organization by phone, with a recorded message saying the number was invalid even though I had reached them before by that number. I then began having increased thoughts of pursuing backup internship possibilities and two main ministries stood out to me: the camp I had worked at the past four summers and the highschool youth group I had served with the past three school years.

Then on that night of October 5^th, while praying in a prairie reserve at UNI, I was seeking God as to an answer to what God had prepared for me for the spring.

“I then saw two planes in the night sky which appeared to be very close and appeared to be flying in the same direction. But after a little while I could see that they had gradually different angles of travel and began to veer away from each other, ultimately ending up in very different directions.

I felt God was telling me the importance of being faithful to the task He has given and the will He has for me. For all too easily, I could begin to ever so slightly take control and begin veering off. Starting with the decisions I make now, it could shape the rest of my life. But rather, I want God to be the sole shaper of my days.

Like the apostle Paul, I want my life to be summed up/explained by just saying 'by the will of God.' Not by my will, or anyone else's, but only 'by the will of God.'

This trusting is a scary place as the world says to forsake these 'foolish' ideas and think logically. And also every last ounce of me fights for something more clear, something I can grab a hold of and feel more secure in, instead of all these unknowns of what/where God is planning for me.

God, take the reins. Lead me to Your arms of peace, comfort, and rest. Show me more of You, that I may learn to trust You more.”